man with backpack standing at Yosemite

I’m only a stone’s throw away from the operating room to have my right ankle fused because of chronic osteoarthritis. I’m so close, I can see my surgeon’s face as he waits for me inside. He’s wrapped up in his scrubs along with the anesthesiologist and nurses.

Whether the ankle fusion happens next year or three years from now, that’s unknown. The only thing that is known is that it’s going to happen.

Since the when is unknown, I feel a greater sense of urgency to cross off a few items from my bucket list while my ankle is still healthy enough. One of those items is taking my dream hiking trip on the High Sierra Trail, which I’m scheduled to leave for later this week.

After this hike is over, I’ll still take short weekend trips, but those will only require a little walking, nothing like a 70-mile, 10-day hike through the Sierras. This is it. This is the one.

While visiting my doctor to discuss what this hike would mean for the health of my ankle, we both felt that it is not the best idea. We talked about the chances of feeling discomfort during and especially after the hike as well as damaging the ankle even more. While I was able to get a cortisone shot to help with any discomfort during the hike, it’s only temporary. What’ll happen after is more of the unknown.

I’ve been fortunate enough to remain pretty active for a long time. But now my osteoarthritis is dictating what I can and cannot do physically. When trying to manage chronic OA at the age of 38, it’s important that I know my limits and have a sense of realistic hope for my activity levels. I’ve finally come to the acceptance that it’s time to move on from hiking and find another activity to pursue.

When I return from my hike in mid-September, it’ll be time to find a new hobby. But I’ll be confident in my approach to find that hobby because of the way I’ve approached previous barriers created by my osteoarthritis. Below are three ways I’ve been able to approach those barriers:

1. Accept reality: Knowing that it’s time to move on helps make taking that first step that much easier in looking for something else.

2. Be proactive: For years I’ve been working hard to do what I can to remain healthy and be out ahead of my osteoarthritis limitations. I’ll be able to draw on that experience to help find out what’s next.

3. Keep an open mind: I don’t know what the experience will be like as I search for something else. But being open to new experiences will allow me to find the best fit for the next stage in managing my osteoarthritis.

There are a lot of unknowns about what’ll happen once the final hike is over, the health of my ankle being only one of them. But I’m not only looking forward to the taking this amazing trip, but for the adventure that will come after it as well.

Originally posted on The Mighty